Vacationing with a 35 lb Kettlebell

I spent 11 days in Naples, Florida visiting my parents.  April in Florida is awesome.  The winds have died down a little and the temperature is consistently in the high 80′s -low 90′s.  I love this type of weather.  Why I live in Massachusetts is a question I ask myself every time I’m down there.  Also, most of the snow birds have headed back north.   When I’m away, other than taking care of some deals at work, I literally “unplug.”  Limited internet, and no social media, meaning no Twitter or LinkedIn.   I don’t even log on.  Lots of time spent at the beach, pool, golf course, tennis courts, bars and restaurants.  I had three pieces of steak of over a lb. in 11 days!  Ate potato chips, drank beer, gin and scotch.  The best drink in the world is a gin and tonic coming off the beach.   Be careful with gin however, it tastes great but is liquid Satan.  It catches up with you in a hurry.  The whole world is your oyster and then WHAM you are knocked on your ass

When I left for vacation, I had finished cycle 4, week 2 of 5/3/1.  I decided to use my “de-load week’ as my 3rd week instead of 4th.  Usually when I’m down there, I just run.  However, last year I convinced my college buddy that he HAD to buy a 35 lb. kettlebell.  And he did!  For the past year it has sat in his garage collecting dust.  I went to his house the first night I was there to get a set of golf clubs because I was playing two days later.  I asked him, ‘where’s the bell?’  He said, “You’re not going to take it are you?”  Someone had to break it in so I took it with me back to the condo.  But not before my wife did a Turkish Getup on each side with it and then cleaned and push pressed it with each hand.  I promised him I’d show him how to use it.  It is a 35 lb. Troy bell, same brand as my 70 lb. bells.  I haven’t used a 35 in a while because I had mine on loan to my buddy in exchange for his 45.

First day there, I went out to the front of the garage in the parking lot and did 200 continuous snatches in sets of 10, and then went for a 2.5 mile run.  I loved the handle on it.  My 35 is a Body Solid and it is slick.  In Florida, where it’s humid, this is a problem.  The Troy had enough grit on it so it wouldn’t slip.   I used the bell five times.  What was nice was I did some stuff that I hadn’t for a while.  For example I did stacking for reps.  With stacking, you add an exercise to each set.  Here is what the first one looked like

Two hand swing x 20 reps rest 30 seconds

Two hand swing x 20, Goblet Squat x 10 rest 30 seconds

Two hand swing x 20, Goblet Squat x 10, Slingshot x 20 rest 30 seconds

Two hand swing x 20, Goblet Squat x 10, Slingshot x 20, Snatch to Press 10L, 10R rest 30 seconds

Two hand swing x 20, Goblet Squat x 10, Slingshot x 20, Snatch to Press 10L, 10R, 10 Pushups, rest 90 seconds.

I did 3 rounds of this.  Another day, I switched each round using snatches, lunges, one hand swings, cleans and press, pushups and did 4 rounds.

Another fun workout I did was the 300 workout.  I haven’t done this in at least 3 years.  You do 25 jack knifes, 50 two hand swings, 25 pushups, 50 snatches (25L, 25R), 50 burpees (this I have to break up into sets), 50 clean and presses (25L, 25R) and 25 Mountain Climbers.   Do for time.  I finished in a hair over 15 minutes.  The burpees, I had to break up into 5 sets of 10.  I was happy about being able to do 25 clean and presses before switching hands.  I followed this up with doing 10 sets of 10 swings alternating with laddered burpees up to 10.  This took 8 minutes and 31 seconds.    I also did the Helion workout and was able to go up the ladder to 10 without stopping and back down the ladder without stopping.

I ran 5 miles twice in the 90 degree heat.  Loved it!  The first time was Marathon Monday and then last Thursday.  I ate and drank too much at Shula’s the night before, took one look at the bell and said no.  I put my head phones in my earns, turned my Ipod on and hit the road.  The highlight of the run was the last two laps.  Good tunes going.  The 11 minute Venus and Mars/Rockshow/Jet medley from Paul McCartney’s 1976 Wings Over America album.  Out dated?  Yep, but it’s great 70′s arena rock, and his voice was never better.  Here’s the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIIzvjf9Cls  He is actually re-releasing the film and album.  I might have to pick that up.  He is coming to Fenway Park in July, I’m going to take a pass.  He can’t sing anymore.   Sometimes you should go out on top.  He hasn’t gotten the message.

That was followed up by Criminal and I Wanna Go by Britney Spears, Rock The Boat by the Hues Corporation and then the Travelling Riverside Blues by Led Zeppelin.  That’s a pretty eclectic mix if you ask me.  I also played a lot of tennis with my sons and nephew.  All 3 kicked my ass at one time or another.  I was the king of the unforced error.   I hit the ball well on the golf course, but my short game sucked.  It was the first time I had picked up a club since July.  Got two rounds in.

Finally, I returned my friend’s kettlebell the last day I was there.  I traded him a kettlebell lesson for a couple of professional profile photographs.  I borrowed his sport coat (both a 44 long) threw it over a shirt and tie, and had a bathing suit on.  He’s converted.  I’m receiving texts on his workouts.   Watching him huffing and puffing after 10 minutes brought a smile of satisfaction to my face.  Now it’s back to reality and work.

3/31/13 US Secret Service Snatch Test

Just like a village, every Easter has its idiot.  

I decided to put myself through some torture today and do the 10 minutes US Secret Service Snatch test.  To avoid frying my grip, I did mostly sets of 5 then switched hands.  I used a 55 lb bell which is 2.2 lbs heavier than the standard bell.  It also has a thicker/smoother handle which takes its toll toward the end.

10 minutes performed 152 snatches.  I rested as necessary.  I haven’t done it in 18 months.  Last time, it was 151.  I believe I have 160 in me right now.  I just need to knock off one rest time.

Cycle 3 Completed and a Fortnight Until Florida

I finished up the 3rd cycle of Wendler 5/3/1 and am currently in de-load week.    I finished my weak-assed bench press doing 185 for 6 on the last set.  Left one in the tank.  For military press, I got 135 for 3, which with a barbell is a personal rep. record.  For the Deadlift, I did 305 for 3, another personal rep. record.  I cranked out 140 pullups last week as well.   For de-load weeks I usually do kettlebells.  The dilemma I was having at the end of the last week was whether or not to blow off de-load and go to cycle 4.  Going down South in a couple of weeks and I was going to try to fit the 4th cycle, 9 workouts into 18 days.  I decided against it.  Why rush the process?  I’ll get done what I need to get done and use the vacation as a rest week.  Usually we go in March, but this year we can’t pull my son out of school, now that he’s in the 7th grade.  Not only will the workload that he’ll miss be too much, but he’s made the high school varsity tennis team!  Huge accomplishment and I’m proud.  We’re going during the April vacation and although I live 6 miles from the start of the Boston Marathon, I’ll miss the start of it for the 45th year in a row.

There was a time when I was a runner and doing 15-20 miles a week that I thought I might run it someday.  That thought passed after doing 13.5 miles one Sunday on 3 cups of coffee and a glass of water.  Not that I couldn’t do it, I know I could if I trained.  But why?  Long distance running makes you fat.  It’s not good on your body or joints.  And let’s face facts, training in the dead of winter sucks donkey balls.  We’ve had a lot of snow this year and the biggest problem is the wind.  It howls as you get closer to the water.  I can’t imagine few things worse  than running into a stiff 20 mph headwind for 26 miles.  One of my mentors at my firm is running for the 40th year in a row.  He’s 73 an swears to me this is the last one.  He’ll bang it out in just over 5 hours.  But he was telling me about the 22 mile run he did this weekend, taking a cab from Wellesley to Hopkinton, his sciatic nerve screaming going through Ashland/Framingham.  Getting to Wellesley having some water and a snack at his car and praying that his back would hold up going through the Newton Highlands.  Not to mention the chafed thighs, irritated nipples, sore feet etc.  Funk that.   We discussed a good formula.  You run 5 ten minute miles and walk 1 fifteen minute mile.  That’s an hour and five minutes.  Do that 4 times and you’re at 4:20 with a little over two miles left.  Bang those out and voila, you’ve finished in 4:40-4:45.  I went running Sunday and did 4.3 miles.  It was 40 degrees with a slight breeze.  My hips were a little tight afterward, but from a conditioning standpoint I was fine.  I plan on doing some running in FL as well as borrowing my friend’s 35 lb. kettlebell that he currently uses as a door stop.

Since Christmas, I’ve been in the low-mid 190′s for weight.  I was fine with it because I put it to good use doing 5/3/1.  But, I knew I needed to address it before going South.  My fighting weight is between 183-185.  Last week wasn’t a good week to start.  My sales year has been off to the best start in 11 years and I’ve had to take clients out.  Thursday I went into town to Abe & Louie’s and had the biggest piece of dead animal flesh on the menu, medium rare, washed it down with multiple Macallan’s and had cheesecake for dessert.   Saturday was veal night out with another client in Worcester (wis’ ter) is the correct pronunciation.  Sunday, with 17 days to go it was time to implement my health kick.  From 10 PM Saturday night, I didn’t eat until 6 PM on Sunday and pounded water.  I also went for a 4.3 run as stated above.  After the run, I did 200 snatches with a 55 lb. kettlebell in sets of 5L,5R rest to the top of each minute.  I later played tennis in the wind and lost 6-4 to my son.   I followed that up yesterday with a great eating day.  A 5 egg omelet, a protein shake and a salad with meat in it.  Got on the scale this morning, 189.8.  Lowest I’ve been this year.  Fasted for 24.5 hours from last night until tonight.  Yesterday and today, I did kettlebell complex workouts using a single or double 45 lb. bells.

Here’s my plan with 14 days left.

Workouts: 6 days a week.  Friday’s are off. due to soccer games Thursday nights.  Tomorrow and and Thursday, kettlebell complexes.  Saturday start the 4th cycle of 5/3/1 and do that every other day.  Other days continue the kettlebell complexes.  Overtraining?  Perhaps, but not for long.

Diet:  1. No alcohol until vacation.  2.  Fast twice a week for 24 hours.  Next fast is Good Friday.  3.  Lower carb intake.  limit starches to under 60g a day (a large baked potato), limit fruit to one a day which will be an apple in my protein shake, substitute baby carrots and other vegetables instead.   For protein, substitute hard boiled eggs for Greek Yogurt (a lot of sugar in yogurt).  Basically I’m going to limit as much sugar as possible.  4.  One cheat day, Easter which will help me keep my sanity.

For me the key is getting momentum and with 3 days down and 14 to go, I’m like butter….on a roll.  You can follow the workouts on Tumblr under Blackstone Valley Kettlebells.  Enjoy!

Sgt Pepper Review and Cycle 3 of 5/3/1 Week 1

A foot of snow was dropped on us overnight.  I thought it was coming Thursday, worked from home but it didn’t start accumulating until early this morning.  First there was a 2 hour delay for school, then, school was cancelled at 9.  Went outside with the snowblower and took care of everything.  Now it’s sleeting. Can you say heart attack snow?  If there is going to be snow, I work from home.  Not that I’m scared of driving in it.  In my humble opinion, I’m a fantastic driver in the snow.  Whether it be the 2 Hondas I owned, my Buick, TrailBlazer and now Explorer,  I feel I’m peerless.  It’s the other people driving I’m worried about.  I haven’t had a ticket since 1993 for speeding.  Was pulled over in Rhode Island, but explained it was a blind spot in the pouring rain and the only issues I’ve had with accidents is hitting a deer 6 years ago.   My last parking ticket was on Commonwealth Ave. over near Fenway 7 years ago.  My buddy Tommy Rambo and I went to a businessman’s special Red Sox game.  Rambo secured 4 free tickets 5 rows behind the Red Sox dugout.  Instead of paying $40 to park near the ballpark, we put a few quarters in the meter on the street and walked.  Lovely Rita Meter Maid showed up 15 minutes before we got back to the car.  $20 ticket vs. parking for $40?  No brainer, happily payed the ticket.

Moved up my percentages this week for cycle 3.  My max is now 195 for bench, 320 for squats and deadlifts, and 140 for the press.  Because of the snow, I didn’t get to press or deadlift at the gym today.  Instead, I did double 70 kettlebells.

Superset went like this.  Front Squat x 5, Deadlift x 10.  5 sets of that.  Followed up with this Superset.  Double Military Press/Double Rows.  5 ladders (1,2,3)  30 total reps.  Finished with Double Swing Outside the Knees 3 sets of 15 with :30 seconds rest between each set.

On Wednesday, I did bench and on the last set got 12 reps at 165.  Still doing a ton of pullups.  I’m up to sets of 5 with neutral grip and basically touching my collarbone to the bar.  Monday, was squat day and did 275 for 8.  Still making all the numbers.  Squatting is starting to get harder than deadlifting, which I knew would happen.  Next week is sets of 3.  I didn’t mind missing today because, I went heavier on the military press with the kettlebells.   I’m also still warming up jumping rope (that broke) back to Wal Mart to exchange and doing sprints on the treadmill.  I did 12 on Monday.

While driving to Providence Monday, I put my Sgt Pepper CD in the radio.  Released in 1967, it is considered the Holy Grail of all rock albums.  It revolutionized everything in pop and rock music.  I’m here to tell you that it is a FANTASTIC album.  However, it is not a rock album.  You can’t play it live in concert.  Heck the Beatles didn’t even play instruments on some of the tracks.

Sick of touring, the Beatles decided to have an alter ego of being Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Paul was the catalyst behind the idea.  The opening starts with Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band.  Paul tells the story of them being together for 20 years using his Little Richard voice.  At the end they introduce the one and only Billy Shears.  The medley turns into With A Little Help From My Friends with Ringo Starr as Billy Shears.  It is an absolutely brilliant opening.  There is a drug reference, “get high with a little help from my friends.”  John, Paul and George singing questions to Ringo, and he answers them.  McCartney’s bass playing is fantastic on this song.  As a matter of fact, in my opinion, the greatest strengths of this album musician wise are McCartney’s bass and Ringo’s drumming.

Up next is the weird intro to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.  John Lennon who at this point had taken a thousand acid trips, swears that it’s not about LSD.  But listen to the lyrics.  John tells the tale that Lucy was a friend of his son Julian.  A couple of years ago, the real Lucy died of cancer.  The bass and drumming are top notch and the singing of the refrain is excellent with the harmonies.

It’s Getting Better ensues.  Paul sings about being optimistic, “I have to admit, it’s getting better, a little better, all the time…with John singing back, “it couldn’t get much worse.”  There you have the perfect yin/yang of the Lennon/McCartney songwriting team.  Light vs. dark.  Excellent song.  This is followed by Fixing a Hole.  Another solid tune.  I completely annoyed my wife after last year’s Super Bowl.  After the Patriots lost I dented the sheet rock on the bathroom wall with my knuckles.  She didn’t notice until 2 days later and fixed it.  I started singing the song and was told to cease immediately.

The next tune She’s Leaving Home, starts with a harp and Paul singing the story about a young woman running away from home to see the world.  For someone who in later years was heavily criticized for banal lyrics, on Sgt Pepper, his story telling is brilliant,.  Lennon plays the parents singing “what did we do what was wrong?”  It’s a great song, but it’s not rock.  There are harps and violins and that’s it.  No drums, bass or guitar.

John Lennon’s Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite about the circus finishes side 1.  Very cleverly written with a great organ in the middle of the song.  It’s incredibly, produced.  Changes of tempo, and the sounds of the song are amazing.  George Martin earns all the credit on this.  Is it their best song?  No, but it’s interesting how they came up with the middle.

The token Harrisong opens up the second side.  Within You Without You, which has an Indian theme with the sitar.  Although the Beatles used the sitar on previous songs, Norwegian Wood, and The Word on Rubber Soul and Love You To on Revolver, this is the first headfirst dive into Indian music.  The lyrics are cool, but the song is endless and doesn’t really belong on the album.  I just finished reading the biography Fab about Paul McCartney.  One of George Harrison’s biggest gripes was Paul and John didn’t respect his music.  And if he wondered why, look no further than this song.  Up next is When I”m 64, the song you hear at every wedding.  It’s a shout out to Paul’s father who was 64 when it was written.  As a former student of the clarinet, I dig the sound of the register key (anything higher than B flat) and like the song.  It’s clever, again the Beatles aren’t playing instruments on it.   Then Lovely Rita, Meter Maid.  Catchy ode to the parking ticket chick in London.  Not in the top 50 of Beatles songs, but a mediocre Beatle song is better than most songs.

Good Morning Good Morning, by John Lennon follows.  This song is interesting with the roosters, sound of fox hounds, bluesy saxophone (kind of a foreshadowing of the Savoy Truffle from the White Album).  They stuck a dog whistle at the end of the song, so if your dog barks you know why.  Lennon’s voice is in fine form and sings with conviction.

The album ends with Sgt Pepper reprise as a closing song and then morphs into A Day in the Life.  Considered by some the greatest rock song of all time.  Lennon sings about headlines he sees in the news, the bass and the drumming guide the song along, and then horns build up into a crescendo to an alarm clock ringing and McCartney singing about getting out of bed and being late.  There are great sound effects and it’s basically an unfinished song that they put into the bridge.  McCartney finishes with going into a dream and back to a Day in the Life with Lennon singing again.  Unbelievable transformation with the song finishing with another build up in the horns and the final piano note playing on for almost a minute.  WHEW, awesome ending.  Then they decide to get cute with the audience and make these backward tapes which are supposed to be what the grooves at the center of the record sound like as the needle goes to the center.

All in all a 5 star record.  Is it my favorite?  No.  Does it have a lot of hits on it?  No, they never released a single from it.  Strawberry Fields and Penny Lane were recorded in late 1966 and released as a double A side.  I always wondered why they didn’t put them on there.  They ended up sticking them on the Magical Mystery Tour which came out in late 1967.  But it’s mind blowing to listen to.  I give a ton of credit to George Martin in this.  I think he was the star of this show.

5/3/1 Heavy Week, Cycle 2 My 15 Fitness Mistakes

I turned 44 on Thursday.  Halfway to my favorite kettlebell  No biggie, I already accepted the fact that I was middle-aged when I turned 40.  Had a great birthday as a matter of fact.  My wife went to the Johnston and  Murphy outlet in Wrentham and bought me 4 pairs of shoes.  Buy 3 pair get another free.  They are the only shoes I’ll wear.  I used to own Bostonians, but as someone told me, “put your foot in this and  you’ll know where the extra $25 per shoe went.”  Great point and they last.  I received a Cross pen from my boys and on Thursday we ate Chinese food and I indulged in a couple of drinks.  Have to treat yourself wrong once in a while.

Wednesday was bench day for 5/3/1 and I had to do 5 at 85%, 3 at 90% and 1+ at 95%.  So after warmup it was 5 x 165, 3 x 170 and then I did 8 with 180 lbs.  That’s a personal record.  Friday I woke up early enough to go to the gym  Felt a little after effect of the Johnnie Walker Red and MSG from the Chinese food when I walked into the gym yesterday.  After warming up consisting of jumping rope, stretching and foam roller, it was standing military press time.  My sets were 5 x 115, 3 x 120 and then I got 5 x 130.  95% of 135 is 128, but we don’t truncate here in the Blackstone Valley.  We add another wheel to the bar and round-up.  5 x 130 on a barbell is a personal record.  I’ve pressed 5 x 140 with two 70 lb kettlebells, but never with a barbell.  Different lift.   I use a thumbless and narrow grip.  The width is basically the smooth part of the center of the bar.  I do not use a staggered stance.  Pullups were done in between sets as always.

After pressing, I did the deadlift.  I warmed up with 5 x 135, 5 x 185 and then 5 x 225 to warmup.  Then I did 5 x 265 with an overhand grip.  3 x 280 with an alternate grip.  Finally, I went to the locker room to chalk my hands (Workout World has a ban on chalk, but I sneak it in any way) and did 295 for 6.  That’s a personal record.  I then decided to see what I could do for singles.  Racked the barbell and threw 3 45lb wheels on each end, collared them and pulled 315 for 1.  Another PR, I’ve never tried it before.  It went up pretty easy to tell you the truth.  My weight was 192 the morning before so that’s a dead lift of over 1.5 body weight.  My goal is to get it to 2 times body weight.  I think I’m pretty close.  Then, I threw 25′s on each side to see if I could get 365.  Failed the attempt, it didn’t move and I could feel fatigue setting in my lower back.  Oh well.  I’ve only been deadlifting for about 3 months so, the progress has been excellent.  I rewarded myself by blowing off the treadmill sprints

Next week is a de-load week, which for me means kettlebells.  I’ve been thinking of experimenting with a thumbless grip doing military presses with kettlebells.  I did a couple of reps today after going for a hard 3 mile run this morning with a 45.  One of Jim Wendler’s recommendations to improving the press is to use a thumbless grip.  I’m going to try it just to see.  I’ve never heard it mentioned with kettlebells, so I figure why not be a guinea pig?

While driving to Providence yesterday, I was reflecting on all the things I did wrong in my training before I started doing kettlebells almost 4  years ago.  Here is what I came up with:

1.  Training in running shoes.   You should not squat, deadlift or do military presses in running shoes.  Your feet are not flat and they are cushioned.  Think of doing squats on your mattress.  It’s just not a stable surface.  Use flat soled shoes.  Chuck Taylor’s or Adidas shell toes.  When I’m home its bare foot city.

2.  Using straps for pulling movements.  Lose them.  Lower the weight and train your grip.  If you can’t hold a weight with your natural grip, it’s too heavy.  Leave your ego in the locker room.

3.  Doing upright rows.  They put your shoulders in a terrible position for injury.  You want big traps?  Deadlift, shrug and do farmer walks.  10 sets of 10 double swings with 70 lb. kettlebells will do the trick.

4.  The importance of your lat muscles when pressing.  Flexing your lats packs your shoulders and protects them by keeping them in your sockets.  The stronger your lats are, the stronger your press.

5.  Training your lats.  I used to hate training back.  HATED IT.  I’d do the bullshit lat pulldowns, seated cable rows with straps and assisted pullup machines thinking I was hitting them.  It was not until I discovered how sore the next day my lats and abs were by doing REAL PULLUPS that I started to take it seriously.

6.  Training your lats Part II.  Greasing the Groove to get volume.  Most people are horrible at pullups.  My max set is about 10 and believe me, when I was in high school, I could maybe do 3.  That doesn’t mean you can’t get better at them.   Think about it this way.  3 sets of 10 =30.  So does 10 sets of 3.  You’re better off doing 10 GREAT sets of 3 working on your form than you are doing 3 lousy sets of 10, than 7 than 5.  Just pick a volume number and get there.  Every time you get a drink between sets of squats, do a set of 3 pullups.  I’m up to 120-125 a week. and I do them with a neutral grip, palms facing one another.  It’s easier on my shoulders which get achy when I do wide grip.  Another great way to get better at pullups, lose weight.

7.  Tension.  You don’t want to be loosey goosey.  Crush grip the bar, flex those lasts, squeeze you ass hard. push those feet through the floor.   The tighter you are, the stronger you will be, as well as less chance to get injured.

8.  Form means everything.  I used to do deadlifts every once in a while.  It’s a miracle I didn’t end up in traction.  I would do sets of 10 with 225 and say to the resident body builder at the gym, my friend, Ernie “it’s a good day to grow.”  My back would kill the next day.  Why?  Because I was doing too much volume and not using my hips and hamstrings.  I was using my back.  Yesterday was the first day I have felt my back doing deadlifts the last 3 months.   Another example is squatting.  By dropping the hips back back back you can get below parallel.  And you won’t feel it in your knees.  Bench Press, those idiots with the feet in the air, plant them and see how strong you get.  It’s a total body movement.

9.  Doing a program, and sticking with it for at least a month.  How can you measure progress if you have fitness ADD?

10.  Keep a journal of your workouts.  You balance your checkbook, you account for your business, how do you know if you are progressing?

11.  Long sessions of cardio.  It’s all about the hormones.  You’re better off fast and furious for 15 minutes than an hour on the treadmill.  Sprints, Jump Rope, Tabata Protocol, Kettlebell Complexes, Circuit Training hack off fat and build muscle.  An hour on the elliptical or stairmaster or an 8 mile run don’t.

12.  Lift fast and explosively.  The less time under tension the easier it is to lift.  Not that there isn’t a place for negatives.  There absolutely is, but lift like an athlete, explode.

13.  Simple is good.  Stick with the basics.  Bench, Military Press, Squats, Deadlifts, Dips, Rows and Pullups.  What else do you need?  What about curls?  Rows and pullups hit your biceps quite nicely.  What about tri-extensions?  Presses and dips build your triceps.

14.  Rest.  I used to worry about taking days off and gaining weight.  Simple, learn how to control your diet and you will see how strong you get by resting.

15.  85% of the people don’t know what the heck they are doing.  I didn’t.  I was in shape, but was I improving? No.  Planet Fitness has a judgement free zone and that preys on the people who don’t know what they’re doing.  Look, if you are taking the steps to go to the gym and invest in your health, ask how to do things the right way and don’t be intimidated.  Woody Allen said success is 80% showing up.  Not learning is like getting in your car, filling it with gas and driving aimlessly.  Yes, you’ll get someplace, but is it where you want to be?  Set a goal, a destination.  Set the date you want to achieve it.  Ask for direction in how to get there.   FOLLOW THROUGH.

I’m sure more will come to mind, but this was my list of 15 fitness fuckups.

Basketball and 5/3/1 Update

They’re playing basketball….we love that basketball.  Kurtis Blow 1984.  Here is the video.  Just excuse his jerry curl and the 30 second Tropicana advertisement guaranteed to spike your insulin.

Big hoop weekend for my children.  The town of Douglas hosts a youth basketball tournament at the beginning of February vacation for kids ages 10-14.  It’s fantastic, each team gets at least 3 games over the weekend.  So I was able to attend/coach 6 games.  The competition ranges from poor to unbelievable.  My younger son’s team won a game 50-11 and my older son’s team got beaten 57-24!  The middle game for both were the highlights of the weekend.  Younger son scored 12 and had about 20 rebounds.  Older son was high scorer and hit 2 three pointers.  Had a chance at the rare 4 point play but back rimmed the free throw.  Oh well, it’s fun, both teams went 1-2.  My younger son’s team is in the playoffs and playing at 6:30 Thursday night.  What was funny about the 33 point tool shed beating was that my father coached for 2 years at the school that whupped up on us in the 1990′s.  They were terrible.  I went over to the other coach at halftime and asked where were these kids 15 years ago?  Good laugh and the guy actually knew my father as well as uncle.

We also had all star weekend as well as Michael Jordan turning 50.  First let’s discuss the NBA, which is the WORST product in sports.  I love the Celtics, and have watched them for 38 years.  I can’t sit through a game.  Last week, the Celtics and Bulls played a rock fight, I mean game that set the league back to the peach basket era.  At one point the Celtics shot 4 for 28 from the field.  A professional team shot 14.2% for a period in the game.  They somehow pulled a rabbit out of a hat and won 72-71.   My son wants me to take him to a Celtics/Bulls game for his birthday next year.  Huh?  Shell out $110 a ticket to watch that shit?  Meanwhile, at the same time this was on, the U was in a battle with Florida State, UConn was upsetting ‘Cuse.  Much better basketball.   Needless to say I didn’t watch any of the All Star game AKA the Black Super Bowl as Bill Simmons (before he jumped the shark) so eloquently stated.

In regard to Michael Jordan turning 50, can we stop with the superlatives ESPN?  Who’s better, Lebron or MIke?  Who cares?  You can’t compare.  Different players, different eras, different times, different game today.  Both are fantastic.  Who’s more clutch?  Tiger or Mike?  Ugh, pass me the remote.  Hopefully remote roulette doesn’t end up on the Grammys to watch the fruits from Fun collect an award for We Are Young, which I had nominated as one of the top ten worst songs of the summer.   At least Catch My Breath by Kelly Clarkson didn’t win.  To paraphrase one of her titles, my life wouldn’t suck if I never had to hear her sing again.  That goes with any Aerosmith, Van Morrison, ZZ Top song as well as Maggie Mae.  Speaking of rock,allow me to indulge in a couple of superlative;  Can’t You Hear Me Knocking by the Rolling Stones could be the most disappointing song in the history of music.  The opening riff by Keith Richards could be the greatest thing he’s ever done and that includes Satisfaction.  For two and a half minutes, it’s everything that defines the Rolling Stones.  Then, it goes into a 4 minute instrumentation coda with the saxophone and piano.  Complete snooze and disappointment.  Today on the way to the gym, I did what I always do, as soon as the coda starts, flick.

Anyway enough complaining on this frigid Presidents’ Day.  This week is heavy week for 5/3/1.  I took Friday and Sunday off, squeezed in a quick kettlebell workout Saturday.  Long Cycle Clean and Jerks with my 70′s.  10 sets x 3, followed up with one arm snatches with the 70.  6 sets of 5 on each.  Then some bottoms up presses and bottoms up walks with a 45.   Today was squat day, using 85, 90 and 95% of my 1 rep max.  Warmed up jumping rope for 450 jumps and stretched.  Britney’s I Wanna Go blaring through the Ipod shuffle.  For squats, I did 5 x 265, 3 x 280 and 4 x 295.  Nice and deep below parallel.  I had done 3 warmup sets before 265, but that set kind of stunk.  From there I focused on tension.  The 280 went up great and then the 295 did as well.  I stopped at 4 because i could feel something in my left side pulling/straining.  Why get injured?  I did 41 pullups.  7 sets of 5, 1 set of 4 and 1 of 2 as well as dips, 3 sets 16,16 and 14 and one arm rows.  3 x 8 with an 85, slow and controlled.  Finished up the workout with 11 sprints on the treadmill 12 MPH with an incline of 5.  10 seconds each, resting for 15 seconds in between each sprint.  Heart rate was 179 when I finished.   Off tomorrow and bench day on Wednesday.  My final set will be with 180.

Cycle 2 of Wendler 5/3/1 and the Blizzard of 13

I started cycle 2 of the 5/3/1 program last Saturday.  I moved my deadlift and squat max up 10 lbs. to 310, my bench press max to 190 and my military press to 135.  On Saturday, I did squats.  My last set I did 265 for 10 reps.  Monday was bench day.  Because the increase was only 5 lbs., you have to round/truncate the weights.  So my last set of bench was 160.  Last month, when I started, I did 13 reps with 160.  This time, I wanted at least 13.  I squeezed out 14 which is a personal record.  Knowing the storm was coming, I did my military press and dead lift workout on Wednesday.  On my last set of presses, I did 8 reps of 115 and for deadlifts, I completely blew a personal record out of the water.  I chalked my hands for some extra tack, used the overhand grip on my left hand, underhand on my right.  I did 12 reps with 265!  Using this formula, (Weight x Reps x .0333) + Weight = 1 rep max.  That came out to a 350 lb. max deadlift.  For bench it comes out to over 230 lbs.

The fourth week of each cycle of 5/3/1 is a deload week.  You basically do 40, 50, and 60% of your 1 rep max.  Instead of doing that, I busted out the kettlebells and did 5 x 5 for kettlebell squats 5 x 10 for deadlifts using 70′s and used 55′s and did 5 x 5 for presses and rows.  I threw in some snatches with a 70 as a finisher.   The back of my right shoulder has been a little ornery pressing kettlebells from the rack.  Using a barbell, it hasn’t hurt.  Yesterday, with the roads closed, I did kettlebells.  Instead of doing presses, I did the Long Cycle Clean and Jerk supersetted with Double Swing Outside the Knees.  So, I did a set of 5 clean and jerks, then a set of 10 swings with the 55′s.  I did 10 rounds of that.

Twenty eight inches of snow fell in the Blackstone Valley during the Blizzard of 13.  First off, we’re not going to follow the Weather Channel’s new stupid practice of naming winter storms.  For tropical storms and hurricanes fine, but not blizzards.  I had to go out and snow blow the driveway and paths to the woods at 8 AM for my dog Daisy.  She loves the snow but couldn’t get to the woods.  The electric starter on the snow blower fired it right up.  On my street, the wind blows from the north. so you have to shoot the snow with the wind.  Do it the other way and you get a rude awakening.  Here is what the front and the back of the houses looked like.  Yes those are two grills half buried next to the table.  Unfortunately, I had to blow the snow into the wind toward the house in the back.   HELLO!  Instant brain freeze/facial freeze.  It took me about an hour and a half to shovel and snow blow.  Then the plow came by and I had to do another round of blowing at the end of the driveway.  Well it’s done now.  Afterward, I worked out with kettlebells.  I haven’t done Turkish Getups in quite a while and decided to do 9 on each side with a 70.  The first couple were really tough.  I lost some of the skill  of doing them and to be honest I couldn’t wait to be finished.  Afterward, I decided to do 1 hand swings with the 70.  15 sets of 10L,10R in about 18 minutes.  Three hundred swings total.  Will be back at the gym on Monday for cycle 2 week 2 of 5/3/1.  The beauty of the workout is because you start off with lower weight, you build a pattern of success and are able to hit some personal repetition records early in the process.

Week 3 5/3/1 and Re-Enter the Kettlebell, Kind of?

I know, I ended the title with a preposition.  So, I woke up Thursday intending to take it off, (everybody take it off!) but I felt good and knew I would feel like I got hit by a bus on Friday morning after 10 PM soccer, so I went to the gym.  Zero degrees at 7 AM on the way to Bellingham.  It was my 5/3/1 day for Shoulder Press and Deadlift.  I finished the 95% shoulders with 125 for 6 reps.  Barbell shoulder presses are completely different from kettlebells.  I use a thumbless/narrow grip and stagger my stance.  A bell will allow you more range of motion.  I was happy with that, I figure, when I plateau on anything, it’s going to be the press.  For deadlifts, I did 285 for 5.  A personal record and I had maybe one or two more in the tank.  i used an over/under grip.  Left hand over right hand under.  I have never tried more than 275 so 1 rep would have been a PR.  It came up easy too. The deadlift is where all the kettlebell swings have greatly helped.  I don’t even feel a deadlift in my lower back.  My hip drive was excellent.

For a finisher, instead of doing sprints, I had them unlock a 35 lb. kettlebell.  In the aerobics room, I did a 10 minute snatch test.  The bells they have are Troys which I have for my 70lb bells.   Compared to my Body Solids, the handle is thinner and with more grit, which is to my advantage.  I did 230 in 10 minutes without putting the bell down. 4 sets of 25L,25R, 1 set of 15L,15R.   My shoulders started fatiguing around minute 5 but it went away.  i was pretty happy to last that long.

Yesterday, I took off.  Today at home, I decided to try the Mah Fah Kah complex.  Double Swings, Double Snatches, Double Squats, Pushups, and Rows, 15 reps apiece.  I used double 45′s.  I’ve done the Great Destroyer which is the same but with 10 reps.each.  No video, need to by a memory card for Tyler’s camera.  I didn’t get it.  Made it halfway through.  My shoulders were dead.  The swings were great, snatches good, holding the bells in the rack while doing 15 squats took a toll.  1:56 it took.  Rested 2 minutes and did 5 reps each of the rest.  I never would have finished the presses. The extra 5 reps for each movement makes it impossible for now with 45′s.  35?  Yeah, 45′s no.

Rested 15 minutes and then decided to try the 10 minute snatch test with a 45.  I did 5 sets of 10R, 10L in 4:52.  I put the bell down.  Wasn’t suffering, felt good actually, my hamstrings weren’t on fire, grip wasn’t bothering me, just didn’t feel like pushing it any longer.  Call me Tin man Flynn, no heart.  We’ll see what tomorrow brings.  More fooling around with the kettlebell than anything else.  The nice thing is the snatch form and the drop from the top are locked in right now.  My coaching friend has a Troy 55, I’m going to try to borrow it for a day and test.

Next week is a deload week on 5/3/1 so pretty much going to take it easy.  Probably throw some kettlebells in next week for conditioning.

5/3/1 Update Week 3

I saw this on Tumblr the other day and thought it worth posting to my lady readers as well as a morale booster for the men.

Note to Women: The two-handed kettlebell swing is your friend.  From Alphahabits

You can follow me on Tumblr under Blackstone Valley Kettlebells if you like.

Anyway, I still haven’t picked up a kettlebell in almost 3 weeks and am kind of missing it.   I might do the Mah Fah Kah complex this weekend with two 45′s.  15 reps of Double Swing, Double Snatch, Double Clean and Press, Squats, Pushups on bells, Double Rows…without putting the bell down.  I’ve done this with 10 reps each, but add 50% volume and I might be hitting the utility sink in the basement.  I know, for sure, the worst part of this will be the cleans and presses.  Maybe I’ll film it just to see the misery I’m in when I’m finished.

Speaking of misery, the Patriots lost and the empty suit got sworn in again.  I was over the Patriots somewhere in the middle of the 4th quarter.  Better to get clearly beaten than lose a heart breaker, like the last 2 Super Bowls and the AFC title game to the Colts in 2006.  We’re getting used to it up here.  I was fine with it, my kids’ teams both won and my younger son scored his season high.  My older son’s team beat the town I grew up in.  I told the kids in the huddle before tip off that “losing to Marlborough wasn’t an option.”  They didn’t let me down.   We won by 8 and I was playing with house money at that point going into the Patriots game.   Hopefully the 49ers win, but I honestly don’t care.  I hate the Ravens, I hate Jim Harbaugh, but I like the Niners as a team.   I probably won’t watch it.   I’m done with football for a while.

Oh yeah, back to lifting.  So I’m in week 3 of Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1 program.  This is the week where you do 5 reps at 85%, 3 reps at 90%, and 1+ at 95% of 90% of your 1 rep max.  Monday was squat day so after warming up with some squat sets, and pullups, I did 255 x 5, 270 x 3 and 285 x 5, all below parallel.  I felt on the last set I left a little in the tank.  I probably had 2 or 3 more reps.  But, when I finished the 5th rep, I found myself lowering the bar back to the rack.  Threw in some assistance work with 3 sets of dips, 3 sets of one arm rows, 10,  10 second sprints on the treadmill with a hill grade at 5.0 and the speed at 12.0 and resting 15 seconds in between and I was done.

Took yesterday off as normal.  My older son is in the middle of mid terms in the 7th grade and they are doing algebra.  He didn’t know his study guide very well, so when I got home, we sat down and went through the whole thing.  Over 2 hours of simplifying equations, word problems, and graphing slopes.  When he went to bed at 10, I put together on separate pieces of paper  the same problems on the study guide, but with different numbers.  Went to bed at 10:45, and didn’t fall asleep until 11:20.  Was woken up at 12:45 by my golden retriever Daisy throwing up.  After cleanup, I was still awake at 2:30.  My mind was just racing last night.  Just completely wired and  overactive.  Alarm went on at 5:45.   More studying and complaining by him, more coaxing and frustration from me.  Drove him to school and went to the gym.  I wasn’t expecting much, believe me.

Opened up with a set of jumping rope, fast for 450 reps.  stretched and alternated 4 reps of close grip pullups with 3 sets of squats.  I did 10 x 135, 155, and 185.  Felt good and loose.  Today was bench press day, after a warm up, I was going to do 160, 170 and 175 for my 5/3/1 +.  I felt so good I did 8/3/1+ Sets.  Also alternated pullups between each set.  So it went like this, 160 x 8, 170 x 3, 175 x 8.  I did 3  x (11,11,10 ) sets of dips, and 1 x( 20 L, 20 R) long set of one arm rows with an 85 lb. dumbbell to finish off assistance work.

My lack of sleep and 25 hour fast yesterday caught up with me on the treadmill.  I only did 6 sprints and ran out of gas.  Friday will be military press and deadlift day.  However, I might move that.  I had a soccer game last Thursday at 10 PM.  Played 46 out of a possible 50 minutes.  I felt like I got hit by a bus the next day and I did my workout at 1 PM!   Another soccer game tomorrow at 10 so we’ll see.  So far so good on the new workout.

NFL Playoffs, Ke$ha and the No Kettlebell Confession

Big win for the New England Football Patriots yesterday as they cruised to an easy 41-28 victory.  Gronk, unfortunately shattered his forearm again.  Before I found out he was hurt, I said I didn’t like the play.  The spiral of the ball spinning clockwise, naturally fades to the right.   A timing pattern on the sideline made no sense.  I’m not blaming anyone, I just didn’t like the call.  Saturday went as I hoped.  I saw Denver in Foxborough, Columbus Day weekend and they proved to be the pretenders I thought they were.  I’m glad Green Bay is out.  I don’t think the Patriots could stop Aaron Rogers.  I was rooting for Seattle because I like Pete Carroll, and the Falcons did everything they could to give the game away.  Matt Ryan is a rich man’s Tony Romo.  They won, but he shouldn’t be feeling good about the way he played.   The Boston College Eagle in him came shining through in that 4th quarter.  I want a Patriots/49ers Super Bowl.  I think the Patriots will beat them in a rematch.  Green Bay’s defense was so undisciplined.  Watching Clay Matthews playing right end and continuously taking an inside route to the passer, leaving the outside open.  Awful.

Anyway my Aunt came to watch the game.  She sold her house on Martha’s Vineyard and just bought a new condominium on the mainland.  She’s a lovely woman, but boy, what an opinionated liberal.  She’s smart enough to avoid the higher capital gains on the house by closing last year.  She was always on the cutting edge of music when we were growing up.  Big CCR fan, Elton John when he was great, etc.  Yesterday, she’s telling me how she LOVES Beyonce (disagree), Maroon Five, and adores Adam Levine (Are you kidding me?) and hates JLo.   Usually I just nod and don’t engage, being the lamb that I am.  Yesterday, I started by telling her a knock joke, courtesy of my kids.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Britney

Britney who?

Britney Spears

Knock Knock

Who’s there

Oops I did it again… 

I’m really torn up about Britney and Jason breaking up and her leaving the X Factor.  He was concerned about her mental health.  Really Jason?  Did you think she could be cured?  Anyway good luck to the both.  As far as the X Factor was concerned, she wanted a 20% raise on her $15 million she was already making.  That’s $18 million for you all without a calculator.  She could barely form a sentence.  She seems like you have to wheel her to the stage, and plug her in.   She’s  working on a huge deal to perform in Las Vegas.  Why don’t I see that ending well?

I then proceed to horrify my Aunt by telling her that my favorite female singer is Ke$ha and in honor of her, here’s her top 5 best songs.

1.  Take It Off  As butt ugly as she is, when she urges you to take it off, right now, start stripping.

2. We R Who We R Just telling about the shit her and her girls do.

3.  Gonna Die Young  You can just feel the maturity in her singing and writing on the third album.

4.  Tik Tok  She stormed on the scene with this one, but it gets weak when she slows it down toward the end.  Loses points for the P Diddy reference.

5.  Blow and I don’t mean Cocaine.  Better than Your Love is My Drug.  Taking over, better get use to it.

I have a confession to make.  I haven’t picked up a kettlebell in over 10 days and probably am not going to for a little while.  I am currently doing Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1 program 3 days a week.  The goal is to increase your squat, deadlift, bench press and standing military press.  After these exercises, you do some assistance work and then some conditioning.  According to the author, who is a tattooed, motor cycle riding, thrash metal listening, beard growing  hardcore powerlifter, (sounds just like me!) if I follow this workout, I will move North of Vag or NOV.

So my workouts are looking like this.  On all 3 days I warmup jumping rope 450 times, stretch and do a little foam rolling.  Sets of 3-4 pullups are done between each set.  On Mondays I do 3 warmup sets of squats, and the 3 work sets with the last set going balls out.  Then I do 3 sets of dips trying to get 15 each time.  Pullups between those sets.  Then I do three sets of one arm rows heavy as I can for sets of 10.  I finish with conditioning by doing sprints on the treadmill.  I set the treadmill for 12 mph and an incline of 5.0.  I sprint for 10 seconds, jump off for 15, I’m up to 8 rounds of that.  Done.

Wednesday, warmup,  3 sets of 10 squats with about 50% of my 1 rep max.   Bench Press 6 sets 3 warmup, 3 work sets, last one balls out.  3 sets of Dips.  Pullups done between all sets of bench and dips.  1 set of Kroc Rows.  Take an 80lb. dumbbell and do as many one arm rows then switch arms.  I did 20 each arm last week.  Followed up by treadmill sprints.

Friday, warmup, 3 sets of 10 squats again same as Wednesday, then barbell standing military press,  3 warmup sets, 3 work sets.  Rep out last set.  Deadlift 3 warmup sets 3 work sets, rep out last one and finally some more dips and sprints to finish.  My goal for the dips and pullups is to do over 100 a week.  I’m also playing soccer on Thursday nights.  Right now, I’m pushing hard so I feel I need all the rest I can to gain strength.  I’m not worrying about my weight, which is hanging around 194/195 but I don’t feel thicker in the middle even though I’ve put on 10 pounds since the summer.  If I do kettlebells on the weekend, I just feel I’ll aggravate my shoulders. No need to go jogging.

The older I get, the more I’m convinced long distance running is a complete waste of time.  I’m not talking 3-5 miles, I’m talking over that.  It’s counterproductive because you’re releasing cortisol and in reality making yourself fatter.   I did 13.5 four years ago on 3 cups of coffee and a glass of water.  I was running a lot at the time and had one of those days where my legs had lots of spring.   I did 8.5 and turned around in the cul-de-sac at the end of my street and banged out 5 more.  The light headedness going up Rte 16 around mile 11.5 and the soreness in the groins and hips of the last 1.5 miles, cured any interest I had of ever doing a marathon  Not that I don’t respect people who do them, it’s just not my cup of tea.  Hopkinton is 7 miles from my house and I’ve never been to the start of the marathon.  My 73 year old boss has completed it at least 35 years in a row.  Great guy and just a machine.

I’m in week 2 of 5/3/1 and am enjoying it.  It’s different and everything works for 4 weeks.  So we’ll see what the future holds.  I still love kettlebells and think the are the best tool. I am just trying something different to stay fresh.